Could You Have Too Much Self-Esteem?

Self-esteem everyone needs it and we work pretty hard to help people achieve it.  And for some good reasons high self-esteem is associated with less depression and anxiety, as well as, with greater happiness and life satisfaction.

But you can have too much of a good thing.

See there is a dark side to high self-esteem.

High self-esteem is strongly correlated with narcissism.

You know at least one tiresome full-of-themselves person.  You don’t want to be that person. Remember what happened to Narcissus?  He disdained the people who loved him and because he was so absorbed admiring his reflection, never leaving it, he died.

More realistically and increasingly common, too much self-esteem can lead to the better-than average effect, the need to feel superior to others just to feel okay about oneself. Turns out most of us are average, and that should be okay.

But NOPE here in the Western world we have managed to make being average -and by that I mean just being you and honestly humbly bring forth the best of you- unacceptable.

No one should feel bad about himself because he’s not exceptional.  Exceptional can also mean freak of nature.

You’re in good company when you are average.

I like to think of “average” as being in good company -all us average folks. What really excites me is seeing people stop turning outward, constantly measuring themselves against someone else and instead, noticing all the gems they have inside and get to polishing those. That’s when the extra-ordinary can take root.

You should feel great about who you are because even if you are “average”. You are still unique; there is not one person EXACTLY LIKE you.  Trite, but true.

We are captivated when we see someone really at ease with whom she is and has the guts to show that to the world. That’s the bright side of self-esteem.

All rights reserved@2013. Deirdre Danahar works creative professional ready to do their best work without sacrificing their quality of life. She is the owner of InMotion Consulting & Coaching, based in Jackson, MS. Reach her at


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