From Vulnerability Comes Strength

A client recently received a thank you gift from a local board for her many years of service, a generous gift certificate to a spa. A very thoughtful gift and one she appreciated but did not want. She simply does not enjoy spas. Instead of being disappointed and resentful, her normal reaction in the past to like events, she saw it as a moment of realization. “People need to know me better and I need to allow that [to happen]. I am going to be more authentic to let people know me and really get to know others.  Yes I am risking exposure to criticism, but the rewards MORE than outweighs that risk of criticism. The joy you miss by not doing this is great.”

Can you guess what her resolution is for 2012?

Vulnerability and strength are two sides of one coin and each requires courage. From vulnerability comes strength if approached with an honest open conscious, a clear heart and the resolve to persevere when there are disappointments and when there are successes too. An authentic lasting relationship that has give and take is built from honesty, trust and support. To be honest requires a certain amount of showing your soft underbelly, to test if you and your ideas will be supported. Will you click with this person? Will your ideas resonate? Is there viability here in this notion? In this business or personal relationship?

Trust of course comes over time when you expose your soft underbelly and consistently are not injured. Like tempering steel or hardening off plants you become made of strong stuff when tested with the intention of cultivating something more something sincere and honest. It is also much more likely that no opportunity or skill is wasted or overlooked, underutilized.

These bona fide relationships are strong foundations upon which to build a sustaining business and life. They provide a foundation for us to be brave enough to make the most of rich qualities with which we have been endowed. From this community is fostered and we create possibilities to support the greater good for all parties.

Deirdre Danahar©2012

Deirdre Danahar, MSW, MPH, LICSW is a Personal Coach working with busy people with complicated lives to focus on what is most important. Reach her at or


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