Evasiveness Has No Useful Role

Acceptance is not only about the present. It is also about the past. We all play the roles we assume early in life. Some are healthy and give us focus, like the person who dreams of becoming a dancer and then does what it takes in a life-nurturing way to realize the dream. Some roles are not so healthy like deciding early on you “don’t want to work that hard” and therefore default to playing the victim when life becomes difficult.

Deciding to act a different way, to take on a new healthy role is a product of acceptance. Taking the easy way out is a tough habit to break, especially because evasiveness sometimes works. It is a habit that begins in a childhood as a way to undermine authority and avoid responsibility for our actions. Maturity and acceptance is marked by honesty and taking responsibility.  You could argue the purpose of authority is to outgrow the need for it.

Being a chameleon works in the short-term but eventually the truth always comes out. It is true that we become vulnerable to criticism and rejection when we are honest. It is also true that the more we become attuned to our instincts and know what to say when, to whom and how.  Self-acceptance and flexibility of mind accelerates your growth and understanding. Holding on to the past because we think it is the only way to live means you will miss golden opportunities.

Ask yourself what is my motive for avoiding this?

Am I am holding on to the past? Is this useful?

Am I protecting myself from real danger or from the possible pain of growth?

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