The Opposite of Control is Not Resolution

The opposite of control is not resolution it is willingness to accept our emotions and reactions to events. Willingness is a decision. Willingness refers to how open you are to experiencing your life, reactions and thoughts as they occur – without trying to manipulate it, avoid it, escape it, or change it. This applies to both the internal experience of your emotions and thoughts and to external experiences, the actions feelings, thoughts and decision of others.

Simply you have what you have when you have it. You don’t have to like it, you do not have to agree and it will not always be pleasant, but it will be.  Once you simply let your thoughts and feelings bubble up you gain some distance from them. You can make an active decision of about your feelings and what to do next. The control in your hand and not someone or something else’s control.

How to come to acceptance:

  • Notice how you are reacting.  Does you heart rate shoot up?  Is your lower back start to ache? Are your thoughts running wild with fears of being rejected?
  • Be compassionate regarding your experience. Your responses to experiences are not good or bad, they are just reactions, even if those reactions feel a specific way. Consider how you respond when a close friends or family member confides in you. Give yourself the same measure of compassion.
  •  Acceptance is not about giving up. Let me say that again. Acceptance is not about giving up. Nor is it about t about resigning to live with emotional pain. It does not mean you will be constantly overwhelmed.
  •  Acceptance is a door waiting for you turn walk through by turning the key of accepting yourself on faith.  People are worthy, capable and whole. People are doing their best in the moment, even when it seems they are not. Are you willing to see yourself as worthy, whole, and capable in this and every moment?

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